A short list

Things that make Kevin a nervous wreck:

1. Putting your fingers through the chain link fence.  He is terrified a baseball is going to come along at full speed and chop them off.  It doesn't matter where you happen to be standing or the placement of your fingers.  Please, for the love, keep them on your own side of the fence, unless you want to risk the chance of loosing phalanges.

2. Leaning against the interior door of the car.  Do not lean against the door for any reason.  You are basically asking to get T-boned.  He checks several times a trip to make sure everyone is following this rule.  We all pray no one forgets, because then he launches into "T-bone" technicalities, and "what if" scenarios. 

3. Leftovers.  If anything is more than 2 days old, it's rotten.  Everything has a 2 day shelf life.  It's basically starting to go bad the minute we are finished eating it for the first time. He's not smelling it or even looking at it.  He just KNOWS it's rotten.  He's terrified of mold, and weevils.  Terrified.

4. The word organic.  There is eye rolling, turning up of the nose, a soliloquy about a conspiracy to get us to pay more money for food that is identical to non-organic food.  And, because organic=gross.  Those pesticides/chemicals/fillers/additives/preservatives however, are YUM. ME.  Although, as long as he is unaware that something is organic, he seems not to notice.  Funny how that is.  He really likes to shout, "I KNEW IT!!"  upon finding out something he just wolfed down is organic, just to make certain I know he's on to me.  He's so not.

5. Missing the short, VEEEEEEERY narrow window into dreamland, then having to toss and turn very discreetly so as not to disturb me. The sheets have to be pulled up to his chin, and ONLY to his chin.  No wrinkles.  The sheets have to be perfectly tucked in, but he rips them up from the bottom of the bed immediately after climbing in.  The fan has to be on (this is a source of constant contention as the fan dries out my eyeballs, and soon I feel like I've got sand paper for eyelids).   The bedding has to be the perfect softness: the sheets, the blankets, the comforter.  The right weight of blankets in conjunction with the right seasonal temperature is also important.  I become extremely overheated with all the blankets, and claustrophobic, but taking them off altogether makes me chilly, because the fan is on.  His restless leg flares up every now and then.  That's fun.  He also likes to give me a play by play of what's going on, should I be at all confused, or unaware, that he's awake and having a hard time.  Shhhh.  Sleeping over here.  I admittedly am somewhat of an angry badger when I am awoken unnecessarily.  But, I have learned to be more patient. And, ya know what?  The less tense he is about waking me up, the easier it is becoming for him to fall to sleep. 

5.  Walmart: nuff said.

I love him though, inspite of it all. And maybe, because of it all.  Funny how things that are at some point considered irritating, become endearing.

*These pics were taken for a work bio, last year.  I wanted to post the whole series, cause he's that good lookin', but I thought this post might be a bit much for him as it is.  If there were a #6 on this list, it would probably be pictures.  He hates them.  Especially when he's being told how to pose, and smile, or not smile, etc.  Kind of makes me giggle just thinking about it.  OH, I LOVE HIM!!